


Say My Name

by Celebrimbor_Of_Eregion



Series: Happy Celebrimbor Things [8]
Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: M/M, Transgender, Transition, fae, fae annatar, trans celebrimbor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:28:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28448424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Celebrimbor_Of_Eregion/pseuds/Celebrimbor_Of_Eregion
Summary: They say that the fae live in the forest at the bottom of the Misty Mountains. It is most likely that these creatures are dangerous Maiar, and it is best not to meet with them. But Lord Celebrimbor has a wish, and he ventures into the forest to find help - and perhaps something more...
Relationships: Annatar/Celebrimbor | Telperinquar, Celebrimbor | Telperinquar/Sauron | Mairon
Series: Happy Celebrimbor Things [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1219925
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	Say My Name

Celebrimbor treaded carefully, avoiding little rocks and snakey roots sticking out of the ground here and there. It smelled like wetness and moss, and a few times, he had to open cascades of silvery-green lichen hanging off the trees like a curtain so he could pass. The Lord of Eregion remembered his servant’s words in some good detail, even though he only overheard them in a whisper. The two servants chatted quietly, thinking their lord wouldn’t hear them as he was bathing, but he did!

“And then you cross a loud little brook,” Lennion whispered - and indeed, Celebrimbor heard the sound of rushing water, “and walk by the giant oak all covered in mossy streaks, pass between two big rocks, and there it is!”

There it was - a large ring of short, stout, flat-roofed white mushrooms. Celebrimbor stopped, gaping at it with his eyes wide open. So it was true - he had hoped, half-heartedly, that Lennion’s tale was merely one of those things younger elves tell each other to seem brave, scare their friends, or entertain - but so far, everything seemed correct. The only part he had not experienced yet was meeting the actual fae.

He had long heard his subjects talk about the fair folk living in the forest at the bottom of the Misty Mountains. It was agreed among most of the talkers that those creatures were Maiar, but what kind of Maiar? Some seemed benevolent, others could as well be former servants of Morgoth hiding from justice. Who knew? Lennion’s fae was a tiny girl with a mischievous smile who helped him find his way home in exchange for the cinnamon bun he had in his sack. That did not seem too threatening.

Only Celebrimbor’s problem would probably require more than a piece of pastry to solve. Long ago, in the sunny land of Eldamar, he was born as Telpelimë. It did not feel wrong at all, when he was running around with other boys and girls, getting into dirt regardless of what he was wearing. And father taught him in the forge all the same. He would feel a tiny bite of doubt at times, especially when grandfather would say,  _ She will marry off, and our house would not grow anymore! _

But things changed, and grandfather perished, and so did many other Noldor, and Telpe did not have time to think of all those things. He was too stricken by grief to notice when people started calling him  _ Lady Telpelimë,  _ and the loose gowns he had worn as a child gave way to form-fitting dresses. It was odd to look at himself in the mirror, with all those curves that felt foreign. No, they were fine on the ladies he met in court, but not on him. He looked at the beautiful lords of the Noldor, and his father thought it was time to find him a husband, but Telpe did not wish for a husband. He wanted a flat chest and broad shoulders and narrow hips, but no matter how much he sharpened his skills, he could not craft himself a new body.

Well, he did his best - Lady Telpelimë passed into memory, and little by little, everyone learned to call him Lord Telperinquar. He dressed elaborately when he was to appear in public, having worked out a set of rules regarding his appearance that made him look if not exactly how he wanted, then at least close. As the First Age came to an end, few people were old enough to remember how Lord Celebrimbor wore woman’s dresses.

Everything would be fine - he bathed in the darkness, never let the servants dress him, banished mirrors from spaces where he ever appeared naked - if it was not for one thing. Lord Celebrimbor was not devoid of certain desires; he wished for companionship, and romance, and, well, for someone to bed him. But how?! When they were at war, he would sometimes pass for a common soldier at camp and find a handsome Noldo or two. But now that he was a lord, it was a lot harder. Surely his fears were unfounded - what would people care if they find out that Lord Celebrimbor had a different body than they expected? But somehow, keeping it a secret helped him forget sometimes, or trick himself into believing that he had the body that he wanted, not the one he had.

Too often would he dream that somehow his form changed, and he was happy and hopeful for his new life, only to wake up to crushing reality. Too often he cried, but no more. The answer was right here, in the mushroom ring.

Taking a deep breath, Celebrimbor stepped bravely right into the middle. For a few moments, nothing was happening, and the poor elf teared up, thinking that all hope was lost for him. And then, there was a soft, musical laugh from above.

“Oh look! You elves started frequenting this forest, I see!”

Celebrimbor blinked and looked around, trying to find where the voice was coming from.

“Ah, forgive my manners, I have not spoken to an elf in a while…”

A slim figure slid down the nearby tree and turned swiftly to Celebrimbor. The stranger seemed like an adult male elf, only his dark skin was shimmering, and his eyes were gold. His silver hair was pulled back in a loose braid, and the garments he wore were somehow transparent yet not revealing anything.

“Hello,” Celebrimbor greeted politely. “I’m…” And with that, he bit his tongue, recalling how Galadriel told him that one should never tell a fae their name. “I’m, uh, looking for some… help.”

“Sure you are,” the fae chuckled, approaching fast, though his feet did not seem to be touching the ground. “Lost in the forest? I will take you to the city… for a price.”

“Oh, no, I am not lost.” Celebrimbor shook his head. When had this being managed to get so close to him?!

“Not lost? Neneth told me that the last elf that was here was lost. She helped him find his way!” The fae rubbed his chin, confused, as if he had just learned that not all elves had the same aspirations. “So what is it you want?”

What was it he wanted? How was he to put this? He wanted his world fixed, he wanted his tears dried, he wanted to be happy, he wanted…

“A cock,” Celebrimbor replied quietly. “I want a cock.”

The fae rubbed his chin once again. It appeared that the elven lord had confused him even further - he even blushed! “Oh. My, you elves are blunt! Well, as it happens, I have one…” He began fumbling with the hem of his robe, as if not sure what to do.

“Not yours!!” Celebrimbor cried out, now blushing too. Only now did he realize how he sounded!

“What, you want me to find you a lover?” the fae frowned. “I am a fae, not a matchmaker.”

“No- it’s not…” Celebrimbor stuttered. “It’s not what I mean. See, I… I don’t have one myself. But I really really want to!”

The fae’s confused expression gave way to obvious compassion. “Did you lose it in battle? Wait, why don’t you just shapeshift?”

“Because I’m an elf!!” Celebrimbor yelled, growing frustrated with this conversation. “I can’t shapeshift, I was born in this stupid body with  _ these!”  _ He practically ripped his shirt open, revealing a specially designed undershirt holding his breasts in place and squishing them down.

“Ah!” the fae clapped his hands, visibly happy that he finally figured this out. “I see! Well, I shapeshift every so often depending on how I feel. Last century I was a lady fae, this one I’m a  _ sir  _ fae, but the century before last, I did not feel like either, so I just turned into a river monster and ate cattle,” he nodded, as if the experience would be relatable to Celebrimbor. “It’s really dumb that you elves cannot shapeshift to go with how you feel. Oh, well. Let me see.” He waved his hands. “Take those clothes off, come on, take them off. Let me see what I’m working with here.”

Flustered, Celebrimbor pulled his shirt over his head. With a wave of his hand, the fae encouraged him to remove the undershirt as well, which he very much did not want to do.

“Uh-huh, I see,” the fae nodded, looking at Celebrimbor’s breasts the way a carpenter looks at a wall that needs fixing. His gaze then went lower. “Those off, too,” he murmured.

Celebrimbor removed his trousers and undergarments too. Instinctively, he closed his eyes, as was his habit when he was naked below the waist.

“You poor boy,” the fae murmured softly. “Are you crying? Please don’t cry…”

To his surprise, the Noldo indeed found himself crying. Having to undress in front of a stranger, admit his weakness, lay his needs bare like that - it was all too much. Eru, he had not even  _ talked  _ to anyone about this since Finrod left Nargothrond!

Somehow, the fae managed to hold him close enough for comfort without it feeling like an intimate embrace, despite Celebrimbor being naked.

“Listen, little elf, it’s not going to be easy for me, but I’ll do it. I’ll do it, you’ll have what you want.”

The elf’s eyes opened wide, tears still hanging off his lashes. “Really? Oh, kind sir, please, I’ll do  _ anything!” _

The fae’s soft smile turned mischievous. “It does indeed come with a price.”

Celebrimbor sighed. Of course it did! He’d spent half the way here thinking over what he could give for such a favor.

“Tell me what you wish from me,” he nodded.

The fae tilted his head. “You see, transforming another being is no easy task. It will require a lot of energy from me and will leave me drained for at least a week. I think I deserve a good reward for that.”

“Sure you do,” the elf agreed. “But please, name your price first. There are some things I cannot sacrifice.”

“Sure,” the fae nodded. “Well, you see… I am a rather adventurous being, but somehow, I have never slept with an elf. I thought…”

Celebrimbor laughed. He had been wondering what the being would ask for - Ost-in-Edhil, his freedom,  _ his right hand?!  _ And this silly fae wanted sex.

“I do not wish to force your hand, you know,” the fae raised his hands defensively. “But if you’re interested… if not, we could work something out…”

“No-no, I’m in,” Celebrimbor smiled. Why not? The fae was pretty and seemed nice enough. “Before or after you help me?”

The lovely being rubbed his chin again. “Well, it makes no difference for me. You choose.”

Celebrimbor felt a faint bite of anxiety at the thought that the fae might trick him and leave immediately after sex. Besides…

“I wish to feel how it would be in a different body.”

“Sure, I understand,” the fae nodded. “I will do my part now, and you come here in ten days, after I will have recovered, to uphold your end of the bargain.”

The elf nodded, anxiety building up in his chest. Now!

“Lay down,” the fae ordered in a sing-song voice and knelt within the mushroom ring.

Obediently, Celebrimbor lay on his back, looking into the fae’s golden eyes, hope and worry mixing in his gaze.

“Whatever you do,” the fae’s hands were now cupping his face, “do not speak and do not touch any part of yourself.”

_ For how long?  _ Celebrimbor wanted to ask but remembered the fae’s order to be silent. The lightweight fae hands on his cheeks suddenly grew heavy and hot, and his skin began itching and burning and… bubbling?! He drew a shaky breath, and the hands moved to his throat and then his chest.

The pain and burning in his poor chest was so unbearable he wanted to vomit. Celebrimbor’s head was dizzy, and there was a sour taste in his mouth. He thought he vomited, or maybe he fell into a deep, dark pool… He remembered falling and hitting the ground, and then he remembered no more.

* * *

“Lord Celebrimbor! Lord Celebrimbor!”

Multiple voices were calling for him, and the voices were all around him, making his poor head dizzy.

“There he is, in the mushroom ring!” one voice cried.

“Oh no, my lord, did the fae mess with you?!”

Mess with him? Indeed, had the fae messed with him?

“I’m fine,” he wanted to say, but instead of him, somebody else said this, in a low, croaky voice. “I’m… I’m fine?” he tried again, but the same voice came out. “What the… what the fuck?”

“Lord Celebrimbor!”

The captain of his guard, he recognized. She ran to him and covered him quickly with her cloak. He was naked?! Oh no, he was naked, his secret was out, now everyone would know, everyone would question him…

“Ladies, don’t look, let Lord Celebrimbor dress,” the captain told the two other (female) guards, and they obediently turned away. “Brenion, would you help the lord dress?”

A guard stepped in while the captain took her leave.

“Here, my lord,” the guard offered him his shirt while Celebrimbor tried to sit up. The two of them tried to pull the shirt onto Celebrimbor, and it seemed to be going smoothly - until it cracked loudly and ripped on both his shoulders!

“Damn!” Celebrimbor laughed. “My clothes must have shrunk from water or something.”

Only then did he realize there was no undershirt on him. Terrified, the lord looked down, expecting to see his breasts hanging free.

Yet there weren’t any breasts - and there was something else hanging free, but lower.

“Aha-ha!” Celebrimbor cried triumphantly. He knew now that the low voice was his own. The fae had changed his voice!

“My lord?” Brenion frowned in confusion.

“Ah, nevermind,” the lord smiled. “Don’t be surprised if the trousers don’t fit either. I think my clothes have indeed shrunk from water.”

Celebrimbor traveled home, securely wrapped into the captain’s cloak, lest that the subjects see their lord’s... goods. He looked disheveled and in pain - and yet the happiest anyone had ever seen him.


End file.
